I am creating a satirical corporate phone tree. When it’s complete, people will be able to call a toll-free number and attempt to reach a real person, navigating a maze of menu options. During the call they will face many obstacles, including terrible smooth jazz, the dread of infinitely being stuck on hold, and accidentally launching a nuclear war. In other words, it’s just like an average call to the cable company.

A grant from the Awesome Foundation will help me hire voice actors and will also help me keep the line active and free to the public. I think maintaining a mysterious corporate customer service number, confusing and disturbing anyone foolish enough to call it, would be a great public service.